Social distancing and lockdown due to Covid-19 is the cause of a lot of controversy. There are people so bored and angry that they’re protesting (sometimes in large groups) the closure of their favorite businesses, meanwhile many others live in fear, for themselves or their infected and/or high-risk loved ones.
Even those who are feeling more at peace with all the time spent at home are starting to get vocal about how difficult it is to be alone, or stuck with family, or not get to go to events they planned on.
While we grumble about boredom and loneliness, almost as a defense mechanism for anxiety, we can’t help but acknowledge that to have boredom as the worst part of this situation is to be in a privileged position.
Many families were not as lucky.
Not all jobs can be done from home, which often means a stay at home order leads to unemployment, financial instability, and sometimes even collection notices, the shut-off of utilities, hunger, or homelessness.
Not to mention the pain of the family and friends of the ones killed by Covid-19 so far.
Some people are more fortunate, and their concerns include hating Zoom meetings, how difficult it is to homeschool, needing a haircut, or being sick of their spouses.
I can’t express how much gratitude I have that one of the most common complaints is one I cannot relate to at all…
By now, we’ve all seen plenty of the jokes that go something like, “Can’t wait to get out of quarantine so I can contact a divorce attorney! We were never meant to spend this much time together!”
It would seem like many couples are hating to have to quarantine together.
Personally, I’m glad to have Josh working from home during this time.
Seeing him for a few minutes during breakfast and lunch, having him available as emotional support when I’m having a tough parenting moment, and getting more time to talk in the evening now that there’s no commute before and after work hours, have all been the silver linings to all the boredom in isolation.
What’s a few months stuck together when you’ve already been committed to each other for years?
The plan is to continue enjoying being together for many years. If we hated each other after a bit of self-quarantine, it would be because of bigger problems in the relationship, not the fault of Coronavirus.
Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of our wedding day.
One of the only real “losses” we’ve experienced in this pandemic is that we’ve canceled our plans to return to our honeymoon destination for the weekend of our anniversary, and honestly, we’re never trip-taking people, so it doesn’t feel like a huge let-down, and we can enjoy each other’s company regardless.
Last year’s anniversary involved late-night pizza and Donkey Kong (not a metaphor), and there’s no reason another similar after-kiddo-bedtime at-home date can’t be just as fun this year, too. (Other parents of small children know that staying home for dates right now is no major adjustment from how life already was.)
Five years is not a long time compared to a lifetime. Our love story may be short, but it’s not over.
Last year, in honor of our four year anniversary, I wrote
“A Look Back on 4 Years”
(https://loveandlogicandlunacy.wordpress.com/2019/05/10/a-look-back-on-4-years/), in which I listed all that we’d been through together so far. I won’t detail all of it two years in a row, but most of what I mentioned could be lumped together into the following categories:
- constant support through difficult times, such as:
– unplanned pregnancy
– job losses
– mental illnesses
– other health issues
– the struggles of parenthood
- celebrating together during the wins, such as:
– the birth (and survival!) of our unplanned baby
– new jobs
– moving (I know I listed this as a difficulty, but it’s both!)
– all of our son’s milestones and accomplishments
– making the commitment together to not let adulthood crush our dreams and creativity, and working together on creative projects
Since then, there’s more to add to our story:
- another job loss, but this time more sudden than previous times
- frantic job searching
- big feelings of insecurity about my role as a parent (again)
- finally, a new source of income… but requiring a move to a new city
- dealing with this move and big adjustment together
- struggling through potty training
- continuing to enjoy each other’s company, and corny jokes
(Ok, maybe most of the corny jokes are mine.)
Through the five years of marriage–and nearly decade in total knowing each other–Josh has always been exactly the support I needed for all of life’s highs and lows.
I’m grateful, and I really hope Josh has felt as loved and supported as I’ve felt.
I couldn’t ask for a better quarantine buddy. ❤
Before I end this post, I have a question (possibly a challenge) for anyone reading:
If you’re in self-quarantine right now, with a spouse, partner, family, or roommate, what are your favorite things about the people you’re isolated with?
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