Today, Juneteenth 2020, marks 155 years since the official liberation of African American slaves in Texas, the final U.S. state with legal slavery.
155 years, and racism isn’t over.
The strange social norms we call “Minnesota Nice” cause us to do and accept a lot of things, some good, some bad.
Police brutality is not one of those acceptable things.
It’s now several weeks into stay-at-home orders and social isolation because of the pandemic, and by now, we’ve all seen plenty of the jokes that go something like, “Can’t wait to get out of quarantine so I can contact a divorce attorney! We were never meant to spend this much time together!”
It would seem like many couples are hating to have to quarantine together.
I’m thankful that I can’t relate.
Personally, I’m glad to have my spouse home with me during this time.
Tomorrow (May 9th) is our five year anniversary. 🙂
Last night, my husband and I waited until our son was asleep, and then finally had some privacy to do something naughty:
We had a big, greasy, cheesy, unhealthy delivery pizza, then went to the couch to laze around, eating cake while taking turns playing Donkey Kong in the dark until way past our bedtime.
Because that’s exactly what we did four years ago, on our wedding night (minus the sleeping preschooler in the next room, who was merely an unknown whisper back then), and yesterday was our anniversary.
We took that time to acknowledge the four years we’ve been married…
Plus the nearly five years we knew each other prior to getting married.
Four years is a short time in a marriage, but a lot happened during those four years…
I visit the grocery store Aldi on a regular basis. Usually, I go there in sweat pants and a t-shirt. (If I’m feeling fancy, I may even wear jeans, and shoes that are not crocs.) I think the same is true of most people just trying to cross everything off of their list and get their stuff home. I don’t think anyone likes grocery shopping enough to make an event of it, which is probably why it’s so common to be sporting the “I don’t care what I look like” outfit during this activity that is basically a chore, but one you get to do outside of the home (or have to do outside of home).
Most people I saw out grocery shopping confirmed this thought I had. Until recently, when I noticed a woman pushing a cart, while wearing high heeled shoes (the long, sharp, you-could-kill-someone-with-a-well-placed-kick, type of heels), fresh run-free tights, a mini skirt, a super tight, lacy blouse over what seemed to be a push-up bra, and perfect hair and makeup.
Without any conscious effort, I heard my brain immediately jump to “Who does that lady think she is, getting all dressed up for Aldi? Does she have something to prove?”
Before you worry, let me tell you that the above is not the kind of judgement I’m encouraging… [read more]
Every expectant mother has her own vision of what successful parenting looks like, and plans her own “rules” accordingly. Although my baby was a surprise to me, I was no different. I wanted to be a good mom, and do things a certain way, so of course what I would do and not do as a parent was a regular focus of my thoughts during pregnancy.
Three years later, I decided to talk back to some of those thoughts slightly-younger me had… [read more]
When we were kids, people would always ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” But then we grew up and found out that most of us didn’t become what we said we would be, or that many of us still don’t know. Usually, we face reality and just start working to survive.
I’m one of those who is still not sure what I want to “be”… but also who gave up a long time ago on the idea of “when I grow up”. Like many others, somewhere along the line, I stopped dreaming big. I’ve spent most of my adult life, and even teen years, keeping a distance from “unrealistic” and looking for the “practical,” setting myself up for a mediocre life.
Expecting a hard, boring life was the first step in throwing away “the dream.” … [read more]
“I’ve never been on an airplane, but I’ve heard plenty of times the reference to ‘Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with their oxygen masks.’ The idea being that if you pass out from lack of oxygen, you won’t be able to help your children or anyone else, and then you all die.
This gets applied as a metaphor to a lot of other needs. For example: You can’t be the parent your child needs if you don’t take care of yourself.
But what if your oxygen mask is not the same as someone else’s? What if your oxygen mask is sleep, and your child’s oxygen mask is attention, and a certain amount of supervision needed to prevent him from hurting himself and/or tearing the entire apartment to pieces? What if everything he does prevents you from using your own oxygen mask? . . . ” [read more]
“. . . Why did I tell you all my reasons for being a SAHM? Because by now, I’m conditioned to defend that decision.
There have been a handful of close friends and family who supported my decision, but many people I know were not so supportive. Even people I barely know put their own two cents in…
At several points, I told myself I was done justifying my time to anyone. Unfortunately, there’s part of me that is always defensive, and cannot ever just let something go. As much as I prefer to pretend that I don’t, I actually do worry what others think of me, so of course, a simple “It’s none of your business” does not suffice, and I feel the need to argue, again and again, the point that I am making a meaningful contribution to my family. Also unfortunately, there’s part of me that doesn’t believe that. . . .” [read more]